My life is not getting better.

Recently, things are not going fine i guess. I thought that things are getting better but after talking to you i realized that things didn't, it went the other way. You don't want to get yourself tied up to any relationship because you don't know if I am the right person for you. I understand. You said you didn't want to give me any more false hope. So now, I am not very sure my position in your heart. You said that part of you want to be with me and part of you don't. Looks like i will just continue looking at you from a distance and wait for you until you are mature enough and understand how to handle your own feelings, know what you really want and go for it. I am thinking that you are quite insensitive, knowing that I am waiting for you to come home but you still come home so late many days recently. Then i realized, I am not even in the position to say that because it is my own will to do that. Sometimes, I just hope that you can turn around and look at the person who has been around you all the while, and appreciate what he has been doing for you. All the little things that I did for you, I hope that one day you will realized them and appreciate them. I just hope some day I can really know if I am the one for you, or I am not. Maybe I think too highly of myself, thinking that by treating you well, protecting you, taking care of you and being a v caring person will make you fall for me. Now I realized that I am wrong, it doesn't get me anywhere except getting another "好人卡" like always. Maybe if I fail to be with you, I will learn how to protect myself more and think more wisely about getting into relationships. Maybe I am not mature enough too...